John Sovec - Psychotherapy

Experience Your Life

 

Gossip: Ending the Cycle of Poisonous Words

One of the toughest things about being agossip teenager is not what happens in the classroom but what happens on the school yard - the criticism and the ridicule, the gossip and rumors. It is so easy to get caught up in the world of gossip and lurid tales, especially in school. Everyone else is telling tales of the latest juicy scandal and it is easy to agree as a means to feel accepted and fit in. For many teenagers this is a way to socialize, connect to others and feel like they are part of the "in" crowd.

But words have power and what we speak of to our friends and casual acquaintances reflects on who we are as people.  Have you ever been in a conversation where a friend starts badmouthing another friend and wondered what happens when you are not around? Does that person speak poorly of you when your back is turned?


Perhaps that is the same impression you are leaving on others when you speak badly or carry forward gossip.  And the thing about gossip is that when no one speaks it out loud, it tends to quietly go away. 

So the next time a juicy tidbit of gossip comes your way, take a moment to contemplate the damage and hurt it could cause to another person.  Reflect on how sharing it could make you look bad in the eyes of others and damage the hard-won credibility and trust you have worked to earn from your friends, colleagues and family.  Choose to stop the gossip in it's tracks.

Let the trail end with you.

You may be surprised by how refreshing it can be to create a gossip free environment around yourself and others might wonder why they feel so much better after having a conversation with you.


Comments
Matthew A. T. Lehman, BCBA
- 4 October 2011 at 19:32
The two best things we can do for our teens is to help them learn not only to avoid gossiping themselves, but to also help them learn the methods by which they can stop gossip in its tracks rather then perpetuating the cycle.

It is actually quite easy to stop gossip once you are made aware of it if you know how, we see certain famous personalities pull this off with great ease, while others-who never learned how to kill a gossip story-just keep inflaming the rumor mill day after day.
erin newhouse
- 14 October 2011 at 17:43
I remember how painful it was to be the one gossiped about when I was in school.
I talk to my girls about doing their best to not spread rumors and say cruel things about other people.
It's hard but i am proud of them for trying.
Belinda Thompson
- 15 October 2011 at 15:41
The hard part about stopping gossip is how else do you socialize. So much of how I hang out with my friends after work is talking about what happened that day at work and the people who caused the trouble.
I don't know what else we would talk about.
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John Sovec, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. MFC #46376